Christmas 2011

Christmas was full of family, fun and a u-haul worth of toys for Parker.  You know your kid is spoiled when both sets of Grandparents tell you to "bring the truck." 

I have tons of pictures to download, but I want to share one quick, and very meaningful picture...

My amazing Aunt Connie made pillows out of my late Grandfather's neckties. She included the tie I helped him pick out for my sister's wedding, but it ended up being too hot to wear a suit & tie to her wedding, and he eventually wore it at mine. She made one for each of his four granddaughters. There wasn't a dry eye in the house!

Open Sesame!

Parker grabbed a bottle of bubbles off the bathroom counter and tried to unscrew the lid.  When he couldn't open it, he put it on the floor and ran down the hallway.  A few seconds later he returned with his play key ring to "unlock" the bottle! 

Farts are Funny!

Parker has figured out how to make himself fart.  For the last two days he has been running around farting and cracking himself up!  Can't wait until Brian teaches him how to armpit fart.

Ho, Ho, Oh Hell No!

Santa Picture 2011

What the F*ck Flickr!

Someone call the cops, Flickr has kidnapped my pictures and is holding them for ransom.  Paid for FlickrPro last year so I could download all of our pictures before the laptop died.  Just logged in to see this message: "Your FlickrPro account has expired.  Don't panic!  You can only see 200 photos, but the others are safe and sound.  You can see them now if you renew."  So I'm guessing I need to pay that in unmarked bills?

Successes & Failures

Small Success: Parker went "pee-pee" in the potty today


Epic Fail: Most of the pee hit the floor, then he stood up, slipped on the pee, and fell on his ass

Books Come to Life

Parker doesn't watch much TV, but we are having a lazy Saturday morning so I decided to let him watch some PBS. The look on his face was priceless when he saw his Thomas the Train book come to life.  The next show happened to be Bob the Builder...a show with talking bulldozers, dump trucks, and cranes.  Parker looks like he's in heaven!

Boys are Weird

Things I never thought I would say...
"Parker don't play with your wiener at the dinner table!"  followed up a few seconds later with, "Hey hands above the tray!"

Daddy's Version

Parker has several construction themed books that he wants us to read over.and.over.and.over.again!  We've gotten bored and started to improvise the stories. Here is a typical Brian version of a book about bulldozers.

"Okay, see the guy on the red bulldozer digging that hole?  Well he's digging it in the wrong spot, but he doesn't care because he gets paid overtime.  And see the other guy in the yellow bulldozer?  He's filling in the holes that guy dug.  This job is under budget, but not for long because this guy here is going to drive over a bunch of really expensive tools and equipment and all the profit will be used to buy more.  And this guy is digging a really big hole, in the wrong spot and the guy with the wheelbarrow is going to slowly fill it back in, so that means this project is going to come in way over budget and they will miss their completion date."

Hmmm, something tells me Brian is a little frustrated with his crew.

Yummy!

Parker has learned to pull himself up on the dining room chairs and likes to sit at the table and play with whatever happens to be within his reach.  While I was making dinner, he was at the table rolling some pears back and forth.  I asked him if he knew what they were, and told him they were pears/fruit.  A few minutes later I looked over and saw bite marks in all 3 pears! 

Oy Bedtime

Rocking Parker to sleep is less like a Johnson & Johnson commercial and more like wrestling a 23 pound bag of snakes.

Happy Halloween!

Parker the Lion



Jumping through the Lion Tamer Ring Toss Game at the church Harvest Party. 
(Notice the death grip he has on Brian's hands!)



First Day of Daycare

Parker has started going to daycare twice a month to get some social interaction with other kids.

Say what?  I get to play with kids all day long?



No, he didn't take the wagon with him to daycare, it was the only way I could get him to stand still.

Keep on Truckin'

Parker and I were invited over to my sister's, in-law's house to celebrate her birthday.  Usually when Parker and his cousin Jack get together, play time brings up sharing issues and Jack trying to understand why he has to play gently with Parker.  This time, Parker was protected in Jack's Cozy Coupe Truck and it was an hour of squealing, laughing, and both boys slept awesome that night!



Parker taking Jack's truck for a test drive

Driving without a license and without pants

Giving kisses

Jack peeking through the sunroof

2011 Scarecrow Festival

Liv helping Parker navigate the "hay maze"

Happy to have his own Jack-o-lantern balloon

"Best buds"

Parker and Lil

Bros



"Sleepin' double in a single bed"



Humpy & Dumpy

Naptime/bedtime has become a bit uncomfortable lately and I blame the dogs.  We always rock Parker to sleep, but lately he's started doing some rocking of his own.  He's started humping!  He doesn't do it the whole time, quite a bit at first, then just when you think he's finally asleep he does it again!  I guess I forgot to warn Brian about this new phase before he put Parker to bed last night, because he sat down on the couch and said. "I feel like I was just humped by a dog for the last 20 minutes."
I'm testing Parker's soy allergy to see if he has out grown it.  He slept through the night last night and took a good nap today so the usual stomach pain and wakefulness has not appeared, but....I've changed 5 poopy diapers today. 

Oh, and yes I am well aware that someday Parker will hate me for this post!

My Son: The Narcoleptic Mime

Parker has started throwing tantrums and I for one hope this phase continues for a while! 
Allow me to set the scene:  Parker finds something he knows he is not suppose to play with. I tell him no and take the object away.  He stands in the middle of the living room, fake cries for a few seconds, (makes sure I'm watching) then, silently throws himself face first onto the floor and lays perfectly still like he has suddenly decided to take a nap! 
I laugh every time, it reminds me of the first scene in Paul Blart: Mall Cop when he is running through the police academy obstacle course, and right before he hits the finish line his narcolepsy kicks in and he hits the ground face first.  (yes, I realize this was the longest run-on sentence ever!)

Play Dough!

I made play dough for Parker to play with and he loved it! 

Sorry, I guess, Turner was really excited too! :-)

Easy & Edible Play Dough

3 teaspoons of Cream of Tartar
1 cup of flour
1 cup of water
1/2 cup salt
1 tablespoon of cooking oil
Food-safe food coloring or powdered drink mix

Mix dry ingredients in a medium pan. Add water and oil. Stir over medium heat until it forms a ball. This takes about 5 minutes.  Store in the refrigerator in an air tight container.

Paper!

Word of the Day

Sniss

1.  The kiss you get when a toddler has a runny nose.

2.  The amount of daily snisses received increases in direct proportion to the amount of snot streaming from said toddler's nose.

Word of the Day

Momicure (mom'i-kyoor') n.

1. The weekly act of trimming fingernails, except for the pinkies. How else are you going to fish out boogers from tiny little nostrils? 

2. The need to keep fingernails short to avoid scratching up your child's face and wondering if the brown stuff under your nail is peanut butter or poop.

We Love Our Daddy!

Sunday morning at the Masten house!

Who Needs Toys?

Our living room is littered with toys. Yet, Parker's favorite things to play with are...

Who knew the rubber bulb on a turkey baster could be so entertaining

By the way I was totally joking, I let him eat dinner, then finish his chores.

Parker's Elephant Impersonation

Breaking News: Hooters Closed for Business!

August 22, 2011

After 15 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day of business, our only customer has decided to dine elsewhere.  When asked for a comment he grabbed his sippy cup, smiled, and continued chasing the dogs.

All Aboard!

Parker and I riding the kiddie trains at a local park

No idea where his big brown eyes came from!

Parker in the box

Parker has decided playing in his toy boxes is more fun than actually playing with his toys

Cherries!

I love kitchen gadgets, but limited cabinet space and the fact that I'm incredibly cheap, tends to keep my obsession at bay.  So what's a girl to do when faced with almost 20 pounds of cherries and no cherry pitter?  Ya get creative...and grab the percolating coffee pot out of your camping bin! 

It worked perfectly!

This is the definition of FUBAR!

I've decided medical statements and payment information should be kept almost as long as tax returns, and this is why...

Just received a bill from 05/07/10 (Parker's birth) called to find out what it was for, and the reason both insurances denied payment.  Past experience has taught me that if the provider doesn't bill your insurance in a timely manor, it will automatically be denied and you get the bill!  Turns out my insurance sent us a check in April to cover the amount they were responsible for, instead of paying the hospital directly...um what? 

So three months ago you randomly sent a check (with no information or explanation) to cover a bill we would get in the future?  Wow that makes perfect sense and seems to be the most efficient way to pay a medical bill from 16.MONTHS.AGO!

To fix this, I have to go to the bank to get a copy of the check, send it to the hospital billing department, then they will resubmit the bill to my insurance and then to Brian's to try to get both to reconsider covering the costs.

OY VEY!

Cutie Pie

Fun in the Sun

I wish I had noticed the dirt on his face before I took the picture

Brian (and I) love Parker's new squinty smile

Ah, this is the life

Parker's Artistic Side

Crayons are yummy!

Trying the two-handed technique

Here Dad give it a try

Brian's coloring motto...Safety first!



Beautiful!



IKE = DOG

Apparently, Brian and I haven't been very clear that Ike is the name of one of his dogs, not a species of animal.  This weekend, Parker played with his Grandparent's dog and ran around calling him Ike.  Now I know why Parker looks at me strangely when I ask him what noise a dog makes.

Pit Stop

What happens when you're out running errands with a toddler and have to tinkle?

COMPLETE AND UTTER CHAOS! 

We ducked into a coffee shop to "quickly" use the bathroom.  Parker decided to use this opportunity to practice his door opening skills. Then he felt the urge to pick a scrap of toilet paper up off the floor.  As I was telling him to get off the germ invested floor and for the love of God not to put the scrap of TP in his mouth, my sunglasses fell off my head and into the toilet.  They are my only pair, so I fished them out and soaped them up, while simultaneously holding the door closed with my foot and trying to keep Parker away from the door knob, toilet and garbage can.  I managed to get my glasses clean enough to wrap in paper towel (to be boiled later), washed my hands, Parker's hands and burst out of the bathroom totally out of breath and exhausted.  Next time, I think I'll just pee my pants!

Popsicle Twins!

What do you do when it is 80 degrees outside and 76 degrees inside?  Fill up the kiddie pool, toss the diaper aside, and run around naked eating popsicles!



Popsicle twins



Hey Mom, want some?

Trying Dad's popsicle

Gettin' messy!

Here Dad, try mine

Brain freeze!

Random Pictures

Finally downloaded the last of the pictures from our broken camera, apparently its gone to the dogs...

Anybody looking for a couple of handsome studs? 
Brian and I are planning to pimp out Ike and Turner to help pay for Ike's future surgeries.

Best Buddies!

All three boys would head to the window and watch Brian drive off to work

Checkout Ike's mosquito bites! (Moscow, ID)

Not So Vicious Guard Dogs

Yesterday, a yellow smiley-face balloon blew into our backyard.  We thought the dogs would tear it apart and play with it.  Instead, we learned we have barking chickens not guard dogs. 

Sorry about the Blair Witch camera work at the end, but holding a camera steady while a 95 lb dog is jumping over your head is not humanly possible!

3 Brothers Go Fishin'

I broke out the pool for the first time this year and all three boys enjoyed playing in the water. 

(sorry about all the videos, our digital camera broke)

Parker Scares Ike

This is what happens when you sneak up on a sleeping dog and try to use him as a jungle gym!

Fun with balloons or how I keep myself entertained

Oh Balls!

I had to sit Parker down and try to explain to him that grabbing Ike and Turner's testicles was not a good idea.  I don't think it made much of an impact - five minutes after the talk he poked Ike in the balls with the straw of his sippy cup!

Parenting. Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Recently discovered this blog, if you're a parent, you will laugh your ass off!

Well Child Visits

Changing Diapers

Random Videos

We have a walker!

Bend it like Beckham

 CPS's Exhibit A

 Polar bear wrestling at the zoo

Tribute

I've been avoiding writing this post for a few days now and still cannot bring myself to write much...My amazing Grandfather passed away on Wednesday.  We were born 2 days and quite a few years apart and as I sit here, an entire state away from my friends and most of my family, I can't think of a single bad memory I have of him.  I don't have enough kleenex to write more, but Grandpa know that I love you and you will be greatly missed by many, many people.

Design Flaw or Operator Error?

Dear Amana Refrigerator Design Team,

I have a few questions for you:
1.  Why, oh why, did you create a meat and cheese drawer the same size as the produce drawer and place it at the bottom of the refrigerator? 
2. Why does said drawer have only two settings: COLD (which appears to mean partially frozen) and COLDEST (which really means completely frozen)
3. Why are the pictograms of meat and cheese so tiny that they can barely be seen by the naked eye?
4. Did you know lettuce and cabbage are two vegetables that should not be frozen?

Sincerely,
Amy Masten

Father's Day

Yeah, yeah I know Father's Day was 2 days ago!  Better late than never!

Click here to see the gift Parker created for Brian  oh and be sure to click on the "full screen" option so you can read the text...Mom!

Word Count

Word  #4   Dog

Surf's Up!

Yesterday, was a beautiful day so we headed to the local Aquatic Center.  At first, Parker was a little hesitant to get in the water, but by the end he was waist deep and trying to put his face under.  Oh, and I was totally "that mom" -camera around my neck and video camera in hand...I took 45 pictures and 15 minutes of video and we were only there for 45 minutes!  I honestly edited the video, but it is still almost seven minutes long.  If you get bored skip to the end when Parker gets brave and lets go of Brian's hand.



Tentative first steps



Not quite ready to leave the "shore"



Keeping one foot on dry land



What?  You want me to go out there?

  

Hold me Daddy!



Getting braver

 

 After about 30 minutes he was off and crawling around without any assistance...





 Checkout my sweet spashing action shots!