Ike Ate Parker's College Fund!

Well, more accurately we had to pay a vet to extract the pieces of blanket, towel, rug, plastic and wood Ike ate. It is official, Ike is 99.9% goat. Ike spent Thursday night in Tacoma at the Emergency Pet Hospital. After five x-rays, one blanket-filled poop, lots of throwing up and 24 hours of anxious waiting, we reluctantly decided Ike needed surgery. We tearfully and nervously stayed in the waiting room during the surgery. He is now awake, resting somewhat comfortably and has a sweet scar on his belly that I have assured him will get him tons of chicks...but I didn't tell him he looks goofy as hell with his belly shaved!

Preview of What is to Come?

On Sunday, Sarah, Brian and I went to Babies R' US to register. Sarah and I had fun...Brian not so much. According to him it should be added to the CIA's torture techniques list. Then I went to dinner at my parent's house while Brian stayed home to babysit the dogs before our birthing class so they wouldn't be cooped up all day long. I came home a couple of hours later and was greeted by the following: Turner and Ike met me at the door and dropped chunks of a makeup sponge at my feet. The same make-up sponge I threw in the bathroom garbage a few days ago, the bathroom in our bedroom, the bedroom that we keep the door closed to keep the boys out. I looked down the hallway, yup bedroom door wide open. Then I peeked into the living room to see muddy paw prints all over the carpet and Turner diving back under the coffee table to continue chewing on his food bowl that he dragged out of the kitchen. I leave the guys home alone and all hell breaks loose. Now I'm a little worried about Brian watching Parker by himself!

Wacka-doo's

So we are only half way done with our birthing class and Brian and I are finding it harder and harder to drag ourselves to class. The teacher is great, the information is interesting the painful part is one of the couples is annoying as hell! Have you ever been stuck in a meeting, class, elevator, bear-trap, etc. with "that person" who asks a million questions, inserts their own antidotes, and answers a simple question with the longest most confusing answer you have ever heard? That is this couple, who we have affectionately named the whacka-doos! Brian rarely gets agitated or fed up with people, but I have had to pinch his leg a few times and talk him down.

Here are some fun facts that we have learned about them just from the random crap that spews out of their mouths:

Class 1:
· They mentioned their religion dictates having lots of kids and they can eat very little meat. Now I am not knocking their religion...just the fact that they have no clue as to why they should not eat meat, etc.
· They live in what sounds like a wacka-doo compound so far we have established that they live with her mom, his mom, a grandma, their 16-month-old son named Buzz (not a nickname) and a service dog that she is training.
· She has hypoglycemia and keeps a jar of peanut butter in every room and the car in case she feels faint.
· Husband plays World of Warcraft.
· They have a real sword lying around the house...it fell over and she stubbed her toe on it. A sword and a 16-month-old running around holy crap!

Class 2:
· She participates in beauty pageants. How can I tactfully say this...the judges must be blind.
· She dances: hip hop, ballet and...belly-dancing!
· She claims to have a medical background...because she is a trained nail tech.

Class 3:
· Every story starts with "I go blah blah blah, then he goes blah blah blah, then I go" Brian usually whispers; then I go crazy, go shoot myself, etc.

Class 4:
· Husband wore a T-shirt w/ the Mountain Dew logo that said "Mount and Do Me." Classy!

Class 5:
· Their 16 month old steals food off her plate and secretly eats it in his room. Now I'm no rocket scientist, but I think your kid is hungry so give him some more freakin food!
· Her mother-in-law who is a nurse says the baby will drown if the bag of water does not break on its own...you mean the amniotic fluid he has been swimming around in for the past 9 months?

Class 6:
· She wouldn't be receiving prenatal care...if it was up to her.
· They are having a home birth with no midwife, doula or doctor because she has her nail tech medical background. The people who will be in attendance: the husband, 16-month-old Buzz and the dog.
· She mentioned hearing something about burning off the umbilical cord and in some cultures people eat the placenta…use your imagination for that home birth freak show.

Cathartic or Crackhead You be the Judge!

Do you remember the Anti-Meth commercial as few years ago with the woman that was cleaning her entire apartment with a toothbrush and bleach like...well a meth-fiend? That was me last Saturday! The past two weekends I have woken up in the wee hours of the morning to pee and have found myself wide awake and unable to get back to sleep. This time, instead of flipping on the TV I became an organizational machine I rearranged the bookshelf, cleaned off the roll-top desk (AKA shove everything in there and close the lid), cleaned the kitchen, dining room, and living room. I'm hoping to make it til 7 AM tomorrow otherwise this crazy nesting instinct might force me to start remodeling the house!

Random Post of Joyfulness

First Belly Pic!

Not sure why it has taken me this long to post the first belly pic but here I am in all my 25 week glory.

Brian's mom made the cutest blanket for Parker! It has different textures and patterns for him to feel and play with. Even the cute little bears are extra fuzzy!

And finally, something miraculous happened the other night. Something that I have wished and hoped for for most of my life. I tried on a D-cup bra and it fit!

Son of a Bitch that Hurts!

Ah, the joys of pregnancy! So it appears that I have several dislocated ribs and a possible bruised rib, thanks to a spreading/shifting rib cage and bronchitis induced coughing attacks. It is getting better, but still hurts when I cough, laugh, sneeze or breath too deeply.