Wacka-doo's

So we are only half way done with our birthing class and Brian and I are finding it harder and harder to drag ourselves to class. The teacher is great, the information is interesting the painful part is one of the couples is annoying as hell! Have you ever been stuck in a meeting, class, elevator, bear-trap, etc. with "that person" who asks a million questions, inserts their own antidotes, and answers a simple question with the longest most confusing answer you have ever heard? That is this couple, who we have affectionately named the whacka-doos! Brian rarely gets agitated or fed up with people, but I have had to pinch his leg a few times and talk him down.

Here are some fun facts that we have learned about them just from the random crap that spews out of their mouths:

Class 1:
· They mentioned their religion dictates having lots of kids and they can eat very little meat. Now I am not knocking their religion...just the fact that they have no clue as to why they should not eat meat, etc.
· They live in what sounds like a wacka-doo compound so far we have established that they live with her mom, his mom, a grandma, their 16-month-old son named Buzz (not a nickname) and a service dog that she is training.
· She has hypoglycemia and keeps a jar of peanut butter in every room and the car in case she feels faint.
· Husband plays World of Warcraft.
· They have a real sword lying around the house...it fell over and she stubbed her toe on it. A sword and a 16-month-old running around holy crap!

Class 2:
· She participates in beauty pageants. How can I tactfully say this...the judges must be blind.
· She dances: hip hop, ballet and...belly-dancing!
· She claims to have a medical background...because she is a trained nail tech.

Class 3:
· Every story starts with "I go blah blah blah, then he goes blah blah blah, then I go" Brian usually whispers; then I go crazy, go shoot myself, etc.

Class 4:
· Husband wore a T-shirt w/ the Mountain Dew logo that said "Mount and Do Me." Classy!

Class 5:
· Their 16 month old steals food off her plate and secretly eats it in his room. Now I'm no rocket scientist, but I think your kid is hungry so give him some more freakin food!
· Her mother-in-law who is a nurse says the baby will drown if the bag of water does not break on its own...you mean the amniotic fluid he has been swimming around in for the past 9 months?

Class 6:
· She wouldn't be receiving prenatal care...if it was up to her.
· They are having a home birth with no midwife, doula or doctor because she has her nail tech medical background. The people who will be in attendance: the husband, 16-month-old Buzz and the dog.
· She mentioned hearing something about burning off the umbilical cord and in some cultures people eat the placenta…use your imagination for that home birth freak show.