Monday, July 30, 2012


I'm 6ish months into the world of PBS cartoons.  Parker and I snuggle up in our bed first thing in the morning, he watches cartoons or Sesame Street and I doze in and out trying to grab a few extra moments of sleep.  When I am sick or he is sick, cranky, or being a general pain in the ass; cartoons let him zone out and forget he feels icky and I usually get lots of snuggle time.  We only watch PBS, and if desperate Sprout.  I refuse to let him watch cartoons that are violent or fast moving because...

If you turn to an old airing of Sesame Street, the camera stays in one place with a head-on angle and relative slow-moving action. Now, however, cartoons change frames a mile a minute, with bright colors and rapid movements. It's easy to see how spending many hours in front of a television could significantly effect the way a child's brain develops. Article

In other words TV, specifically fast moving shows, can lead to an increased chance of developing hyperactivity disorders. Limiting Parker to PBS does not always ensure the cartoons are top quality or have a theme song that won't annoy the piss out of me when it gets stuck in my head for the next 12 hours. 

Here are a few cartoon reviews for all you new parents out there:

Dinosaur Train:  I actually really like this show, but if Buddy says 'I have a hypothesis' one more time I'm going to punch him in his T-Rex snout. 

Thomas the Train: One of Parker's favorites. I don't really mind watching this one, except every single show has the same plot.  An engine is given a very important task and a certain amount of time to complete it.  Said engine screws up the task and makes Sir Tophum Hatt 'very cross'.  The engine goes back, tries to fix his screw-up, says sorry and everything is forgiven.  So kids. When your parents tell you to do something; don't do it, say sorry and you'll probably get a pony.  I thoroughly enjoy the episodes with Victor the engine.  He sounds like the Dos Equis guy and says 'my friends' a lot!

The Cat in the Hat:  How has CPS not investigated Nick and Sally's moms?  Most of the time they ask to go on some crazy adventure and the disembodied mom voice always says yes.  Do they ever actually check the backyard and notice their children have disappeared? 
     I'm also convinced Nick and Sally are brother and sister and have two moms.  Sure Nick is African American? Hispanic? really tan?, Sally is in need of some sun, and their mom's match their respective skin colors, but: A) there are no dads or mention of dads. B) the backyard and house never change, they just rotate the mom voices in and out.  Come on PBS don't ask don't tell has been repealed.  Let Nick and Sally's moms come out of the closet already!

Bob the Builder: Tim Taylor of the cartoon construction world.  Well actually, Bob is more like Al and all his helpers screw-up the building projects.  I think Brian tries to avoid this show because it reminds him too much of the people that work for him.

The Wiggles: How do you say 'what the fuck' in Australian?  Four grown men running around in Telletubby colored outfits, dancing around with a bunch of kids. How has To Catch a Predator not nailed these guys?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

It has been a busy few weeks around here...not much time or energy to post something witty so instead I will leave you with a few pictures of the cutest two year old I know!

Parker helping me read

Visit to the Blue Willow Lavender Farm in Gig Harbor

Stopping to smell the roses lavender

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wanted: Better Role Models

Parker was helping me unload the dishwasher and I caught him licking several dishes! I'm guessing he learned this technique from the dogs. For the record, the dogs are totally uninterested in clean dishes, but I have to fight them off when loading it...especially if I have just made Parker a PB&J.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

4th of July

Dear Neighbors,

     Happy Independence Day! The 4th of July is a great time to reflect on the freedoms bestowed upon us by our forefathers. While I am sure any good lawyer could argue your right to "blow shit up" is covered under the Bill of Rights, I believe my family and I also have a right to more than 4 hours of sleep a night. As I assume you are busy recovering from a 2 day hangover and worrying about permanent hearing loss; let me quickly summarize the basis of many, many US Supreme Court arguments. Basically, if the expression of your rights and freedoms infringes on my rights and freedoms, we can throw down.

    Every year, I watch you, your friends, and family sit in your garage, guzzling beers bathed in the soft red glow of your neon beer sign. I assume you carefully save these aluminum beer cans in the hopes that someday you will have chugged and saved enough to supplement your expensive illegal fireworks habit. Based on your window rattling pyrotechnic display over the past 2 days I would assume your 2012 goal was to:

A) Not remember any Friday or Saturday nights from July 2011-July 2012 and

B) Buy 1000's of dollars worth of the loudest and brightest fireworks your 5th grader could possibly set off.

  Please consider this letter a friendly warning. Tonight, should you continue, what has become a nightly barrage of the neighborhood; I will be forced to take action and forever be known as that crazy bitch that lives 2 doors down.



P.S. Just in case I am unable to come within 500 feet of your residence later this year, please refer to this letter when planning your New Year's celebration.