I have been reading quite a few children's books to Parker and beginning to think some of these authors are on drugs and/or have dirty minds.
Exhibit A: What drugs was this guy taking? A Golden Book called Uncle Wiggily has a main character called the skillery-scallery alligator who wants to nibble on Uncle Wiggily's ears. The alligator tries to get Uncle Wiggily out of a tree by using his "rough nutmeg-grater tail" to saw down the tree. The other characters devise a plan to scare away the alligator by painting his tail red.
Exhibit B: This author needs a girlfriend...or boyfriend. In a book called Danny Beaver's Secret, Danny wears a tank top and flashy belt. One of the main characters is named Pussy Cat and he borrows her
flowers to help him with his secret.
Exhibit C: Maybe I can use this book to teach Parker about child molesters. These are exact quotes! "When you wish to return," he continued, "grip my staff tightly and stand behind me. Close your eyes and think of your own home..." He took the staff and stepped behind the chief. As he did, the boy felt a great surge beneath him...
Seriously, I did not make this stuff up!
